First Impressions, True Reflections: What I Learned from a Simple NLP Exercise
Last weekend, I attended an NLP summer school — partly to refresh my skills, and partly to reconnect with the principles that once fascinated me. I revisited techniques like conflict resolution, anchoring, and future design, and practiced them in real-time with people I had never met.
The day ended with a deceptively simple exercise — but one that left a surprisingly deep impression on me, both literally and figuratively.
The Exercise
We rearranged our chairs into two facing lines. Each person sat opposite someone else. Some of us had chatted during the day; others hadn’t exchanged a single word. The task is to give honest feedback to the person sitting across from you.
The First Impression
The first gentleman I faced hadn’t spoken to me all day. And yet, based solely on observation, he described me as professional, intelligent, and warm.
He said the way I dressed — smart casual — suggested that I took myself and the event seriously. He had noticed I smiled while speaking to others, answered the coach’s questions clearly, and carried myself with confidence.
That surprised me — in the best possible way.
He didn’t know my background, and yet through quiet observation alone, he painted a picture that resonated with how I see myself.
It made me pause and wonder: How much do we reveal to the world without ever saying a word?
Beyond the First Look
Then came the second gentleman. We had spent about 30 minutes earlier that day in a one-to-one exercise, discussing our goals and envisioning the future.
He admitted that at first, he had assumptions — maybe shaped by our cultural differences, or simply the randomness of being paired as strangers. But during our interaction, he saw something more:
Someone with a clear vision and the courage to pursue it. Someone kind, patient, trustworthy, and open-minded.
He echoed the earlier feedback — intelligent, expressive, warm — but added something that delighted me:
“You’re fun.”
He had seen both sides of me: the composed professional and the playful, engaging communicator.
That moment felt incredibly validating.
Three Reflections That Stayed With Me
This exercise reminded me of three powerful truths:
- First impressions matter.
Before you say a word, your body, your clothes, your posture — they all tell a story. - People often see you more clearly than you think.
Sometimes, others reflect back the most honest version of you. - Authenticity invites connection.
When we’re true to ourselves, others sense it.
For me — as a consultant, a trainer, a facilitator, a coach, and someone passionate about personal growth — this was a powerful reminder:
Self-awareness is not a destination. It’s a conversation — between how we see ourselves and how the world sees us.
So ask yourself:
- What story are you telling the world before you speak?
- When did you last listen to how others see you?
- And most importantly — do their reflections align with who you truly are?
Because when our inner self and outer expression begin to align — that’s when clarity, confidence, and connection begin to flow.
Feel free to share your reflections or stories — let’s keep this conversation on self-awareness going. We learn more when we learn together.