10 Ways to Have Better Communication

Since childhood, I’ve believed I was a great communicator — fluent, honest, and straightforward, with genuine interest in others. But over time, I’ve come to realise that effective communication isn’t just about me, and certainly not limited to the traits I possess. Here are a few ways that have helped me become a better communicator:

1. It’s Not About You

The number one rule: good communication isn’t about you or your opinion. Most of us (myself included) naturally steer conversations toward ourselves – we want to feel heard and in control. These days, I give myself a little nudge when I catch this happening: “Shut up, it’s not about you.” It helps shift the focus back to the other person.

2. Be Fully Present

We like to think we’re great multitaskers, but science says otherwise. Real communication requires focused attention. I’ve learned to put down my phone, pause other tasks, and give the person in front of me my full attention and respect.

3. Show Curiosity and Ask Open Questions

Confucius once said, “In the company of any three people, I can always find something to learn.” I live by this principle. I assume everyone has something valuable to teach me. Asking open-ended questions and showing genuine curiosity helps unlock that learning – and deepens the conversation.

4. Watch Your Body Language

What do someone’s posture, expressions, or tone of voice reveal to you? Body language communicates far more than words. And we might not always be aware of what our non-verbal cues communicate. It’s worth reflecting on your own body language and being mindful of how it affects others.

5. Skip the Excessive Detail

Everyone has a communication style. While there’s no absolute “right” or “wrong,” some styles are definitely more effective. I had a neighbour who loved telling stories – with every detail. I often got lost before she reached the point. The lesson? Get to the essence; clarity trumps length.

6. Keep Conversations Short and Sweet

Someone once said: “A good conversation is like a miniskirt – short enough to stay interesting, but long enough to cover the subject.” Enough said. There are multiple occasions I regret saying too much, but none where I regret saying too little.

7. Say “I Don’t Know” When You Don’t Know

This one is personal. I once asked a manager for directions, and she confidently sent me the wrong way – wasting time and energy. I’d have respected her more if she simply said, “I don’t know.” Honesty builds trust. Vulnerability builds connection. You don’t know what you don’t know – and that is perfectly fine.

8. Don’t Hijack Someone Else’s Story

Just because you’ve had a similar experience doesn’t mean you know what the other person is feeling. Sharing can be helpful, but only when it supports rather than overshadows. See Rule #1: conversations are not promotional opportunities about you.

9. Listen to Understand – Not to Respond

We speak at around 225 words per minute but can listen at up to 500. That extra space in our minds is often filled with assumptions or our own responses. Listening is a skill and it takes practice – not just to reply, but to understand.

10. Match Your Message to the Moment

Timing matters as much as content. A well-meaning comment delivered at the wrong moment – when someone is upset, distracted, or simply not ready – can land poorly. I’ve learned to pause and ask myself: “Is this the right time? Am I in the right mindset?” Being attuned to the emotional and situational context ensures the message is not just heard, but received – and that’s what truly determines the effectiveness of our communication.

Final Thoughts

Great communication isn’t just about speaking well – it’s about empathy, listening, presence, humility, curiosity, and many more. This blog shares 10 practical ways to improve your communication, from to recognising it’s not about you to being fully present and understanding the power of listening and being fully present. Small mindset shifts can make a big difference in how we communicate and connect with others.

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